another moment.

every once in a while i hear a song that makes me think of you. still. like right now. and i remember the good times. you. (the you i wanted you to be. not the you, you couldn’t help but be). maybe its this artist in general. she reminds me of you and us. and […]

It feels good today.

I’ve been on a Fckin roll since Saturday. I need to put that out there. I just woke up Saturday morning and been breezing through since. It’s now Monday night. Guess it’s been a while since I’ve felt, okay. Good. Content. Happy. And not that periodic jolt. Not forcing. Simply comfortable. While in the midst […]

What’s yours is mine.

We didn’t talk about it this time. We just did it. From the moment I planted my hands onto your ass right until the cigarette afterwards. There were no words. Just actions. And for us. That’s new. To be honest. I’m not sure how to take that. There’s a part of me that feels bad. […]

things i never said 1.25.19

  1.25.19 Well, I have been single for over a year now. 1 year, and 4 months to be exact. Sept. 2016. when me and my beloved Christopher decided we were best apart. I say that with sincerity and sarcasm at the same time. I say that smiling with a healing heart. And im forced […]

things i never said 11.20.17

On Tuesday November 14th my Grandmother passed away. I️ knew for about a week and a half prior the day was coming. Thank God for that. And as the days passed my anxieties grew. Wondering how I️ would handle that Tuesday. Looking back I️ realize how blessed I️ am. Knowing her day was coming. Being […]

things i never said 10.25.17

10.25.17 I have forced my brain to dislike you. Avoiding graceful thoughts. Erasing peaceful memories. Replaying the worse parts of us. Over and over again, until now, thoughts of you, only repulse me. And I’ve made my heart to grow cold to you. No longer concerned for your feelings. Having a stern unwillingness to make […]

fourth year

in my first year, i overcame homelessness. in my second year, i overcame joblessness. in my third year, i overcame educationlessness. (yup. making that word up tonight)   i remember having no where to lay my head, with no desire to work or do better, wanting nothing more than to go back to school. i […]

All is Well.

For years I wondered how it would feel to be normal. Do what regular people do. Live life how the “squares” of  my society do it. I wondered how they did. I remember looking at people across the street from me. Wishing to be in their bodies, in their shoes. Watching them walk from the […]


My grandmother died on Nov 14. I’m not sure my reasoning for starting this post with that fact. I don’t believe I care to go into much detail. I guess I just wanted to put it out there. I’ve been drifting through the days (turning into weeks) again. Let me specify, I’ve been showing up […]

My dreams.

My dreams have turned on me. So dark. So cold. Portraying a man I never met. Hurting my broken soul. My dreams revealing things. I couldn’t imagine ever being real. Waking in a cold sweat. Questioning your motives. My dreams, short and insidious. Killing that last bit of hope. Making sure I let you go […]